I Hate VB (Don't You?)

I have no idea when I wrote this, but I was digging around in an older module, and found this ode to the most busted language ever written (apologies to COBOL):

' i hate vb
' -------------------
' a poem by henry j. mason
'
' i hate vb
' quite passionately
' i hate vb
' and it's clear to me
' that while there will be more to write
' (and write until my hair turns white)
' my love for programming has waned
' languished under basic's bane
' indeed, so fundamentally broken a language
' could do naught but cause in the most boring programmer deep, bitter anguish
' a twinge of pain
' as again, and again
' the sisyphus must recite
' the banal syntax, and despite
' obsolescence, this poor slave knows there will never be
' true death for such mediocrity
' unkillable, the vb zombie
' feeds, slowly, feeds... upon you, and me

Clearly I am somewhat passionate about this subject. The same could be said, I suppose, about any legacy language left in place to support some vital business function, and maintained in perpetuity...

VB (and don't talk to me about VB.Net, as that's a whole 'nother can of worms) irks me mostly as it was created to allow non-programmers to write code. WHAT?? Non-programmers should be kept as far away from a compiler as possible.

It's funny, though. Microsoft has long had a reputation as being user-unfriendly, beyond surface details, at least. It requires a very competent user to keep a Windows system running smoothly, even more so in the age of the Internet. It's a hackers OS, to a point, and that's why I like it.

Maybe that's why, when they try and make something for the non-hacker crowd, they fail so epically?

Experiments in Raw Feeding

So, we get home from a week in the gorgeous city of Cleveland, only to find this note from the dog-sitters.

My first reaction was disappointment. Man! I missed my baby's first kill! What a bummer. I also felt bad for the rabbit. Visions of it suffering on my back lawn as the dog sitter held back the slavering woof-woof went through my head. Oh well. It could have been hit by a car.

Then, inevitably, I started wondering what happened to the rabbit. Had they buried it? Thrown it in the trash? Apparently Miyuki had caught and slain her prey only hours before we got home. Good timing, as it turned out. A message to the dog sitter confirmed the presence of a freshly killed cottontail in a bag in the garbage container under the car-port. It was a cool, 55F day. I wasn't worried about spoilage. So, out of the trash came one big-ass bunny. I'm guessing it was over three pounds, as fully dressed it came to 2.25 pounds on the scale.



Yes, I cleaned and 'dressed' it. That is, whacked it into half pound sections with a cleaver. I'm pretty sure my neighbors think I'm certifiable. I regularly hack up carcasses on the patio. Is this normal?



I've never cleaned and dressed a mammal before. Gutted plenty of fish. I have to admit, as a vegetarian, it really wasn't that bad. I mean, I don't plan on eating it - it's going to those that deserve it, our dogs.




The fact is, rabbit meat is expensive. Ground or whole expect to pay $7 a pound. There is, as far as I know, little demand for it as food for humans, it's the raw feeding movement that make this meat so lucrative.

So, all is well, and whatever guilt I felt about the suffering of the rabbit has been assuaged. It's painful end shall not have been in vain - it will be consumed, and the life cycle shall continue.

It's now in the freezer for a month. We'll see how they like it.

Trouble...

There's something new in my driveway. Something that's just begging to be tinkered with.

Mazda Furai concept race car

I'm not sure why I hadn't seen this before, but Mazda built a one-off three rotor race car that's just, well, stunning doesn't quite do it justice.



It's a runner, unlike most concept cars, and has an engine built by Racing Beat that produces this prodigious wail, reminiscent of the 787B, but throatier.

Watch it.

Batch 2.4: Clover Pollen Treat, redux

Ok, just tweaking the recipe slightly. Let's see how it works with a little higher starting SG:

Batch #: 2.4
Brew Date: 2009-05-14
Type: Extract
Malt Extracts:
8.5lb Briess wheat-barley liquid malt extract
Adjuncts:
1lb Clover Honey - 10 minutes

Malted Grains:
1lb Gambrinus Honey malt 25L
Hops:
1oz Sterling - 45 minutes
Yeast:
Wyeast 3086 Wheinstephan Wheat


OG: 1.069 at 60 F

Yeah, pretty straightforward, honey added right before flameout, otherwise totally standard. Shooting for a slightly more potent batch this time, and rigged a blow-off tube as the Wheinstephan is very aggressive. Definitely need a temperature controlled primary, next. Right? Right.

Best of Craigslist: Miata hunting

I just had to preserve this for posterity:

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1163055823.html

Hi. I am posting this because I have become very disgruntled at the amount of stupidity in the minds of miata owners. I do not understand how someone could possibly believe that their dented miata in need of a new clutch with 250,000 miles on it could ask $5000. IT IS NOT A DAMN FERRARI. WE ARE IN A RECESSION. IF YOU DO NOT SELL YOUR CAR, REPOST WITH A LOWER PRICE. Its simple economics people. Nothing about your car makes it worth $3,000 more then blue book. NOTHING. This means you, retarded dealer that's trying to sell a miata with 150,000 miles and a salvage title for $5000. Are you ill in the head? If you have a miata with a dented fender and a replacement sitting in your garage, then fucking replace it and try selling it. Don't just sit there and say that you just don't have the time to do it. Do you want to sell your car or not? Its been on here for over a month and the fender isn't going to un-dent itself. FIX THE DAMN FENDER OR LOWER THE PRICE.

So true.

Next up: I finally post something about tinkering. Which I have been doing, despite all appearances to the contrary. Serious tinkering.

Batch 2.3: Clover Pollen Treat

After discovering that I'd apparently lost (can we go with misplaced?) the recipes and notes from the first three batches of beer that I'd brewed, I realized I should stop being an idiot and just post my notes here.

Duh.

So without further ado:

Batch #: 2.3
Brew Date: 2009-04-09
Type: Extract
Malt Extracts:
7lb Briess wheat-barley liquid malt extract
Malted Grains:
1lb Gambrinus Honey malt 25L
Hops:
1oz German Traditional (should have been: Hallertau) - 60 minutes
Yeast:
Wyeast 3086 Wheinstephan Wheat
OG: 1.050 at 70 F

Steeped the malted barley in 3 gallons of water at 165-155 F for 30 minutes, then sparged in remainder of boil water (2.5 gallons) at 170F. 1 tbsp Irish moss added. Otherwise totally straightforward.

4 oz of Clover honey pasteurized and added to primary at 24 hours.

This one looks like it'll come out properly, even though I managed to get a very violent (and over temperature) initial fermentation. I need better temperature control in my primary.

Edit: Kegged directly from primary on 2009-14-16 (7 days). FG: 1.012. Needs to settle and clear, but tastes pretty decent. Definitely going to go with Tettnang hops next time, and probably add the honey to the boil.